I'm not quite ready for "support hose" and a "Hover-round" yet

As I peek over the horizon toward my 20th high school reunion (a mere 2 years away), I really don't feel that old but outward signs are pointing otherwise.

Maybe it's because I missed that post-college period that most people go through where they get their first job out of college and although they are gainfully employed, they are still acclimating themselves from the college lifestyle. In other words, they show up to work hung over and nap in their car at lunch. I totally skipped that segment of life so perhaps I feel that I am aging prematurely. I don't feel deprived in any way; I just "fast-forwarded"a bit.

I'm deeply in denial about the fact that in four years, I'll go from being an Aggie grad to being an "Aggie Mom" (just don't expect to see me wearing a rhinestone-swathed visor with an "Aggie Mom" t-shirt tucked into elastic-waisted shorts and sensible shoes). My denial has such a deep-reaching effect that it prevents me from shopping in the Misses section at any given department store -- yep, that's me in the Junior's section trying to look inconspicuous. Unfortunately, the clothes in Juniors are starting to make me look ridiculous. This leaves me with the rather unappetizing choice of wearing jeans that barely cover my rear or head over to the Misses section and buy some jeans that come up to my armpits. No thanks.

Then there's the issue of music. I vividly recall a conversation I had with my own mother recently about how crappy the popular songs are 'nowadays' (I can't believe I said 'nowadays'...I'm now adopting the vernacular of an 80-year-old.) She properly pointed out that I sounded like an "old lady" which made my blood instantly run cold. However, I promptly pointed out that my own children agree with me on the state of today's music (or what passes as music). It would have been a good bet that I just properly brainwashed them except that I have uncovered a couple of pieces of evidence that support my argument.

Ladies and gentlemen, I submit for your consideration, Guitar Hero and Rock Band. You don't find but a handful of songs on each version of those games that were recorded after the mid-90s. Consider the target demographic for those games: kids from age 10 - 18, college students, beer-swilling unemployed losers, plus the occasional medical professional. You know darn well if there was a plethora of good rock songs out there right now, the record companies would be jumping at the chance to get them on these games. A decent new rock song is about as common as a Bigfoot sighting.

Exhibit B -- a list that I saw on Yahoo! today titled "Greatest Number One Songs" from the 60s to today. I read the comments (what a great use of my time) and most of them agreed with me that quality took a stark nosedive after 1990. Either Yahoo! commentary is almost entirely dominated by Gen X-ers or other people out there can properly identify trash when they hear it. I'm putting my money on the latter.

I think I've made my case rather convincingly. Of course, none of this changes the fact that I don't know how to text....but that's more an issue of laziness on my part. After all, you can teach an old dog new tricks. Or in my case, a near-middle-aged dog -- but only if she's willing.

Until then, I'll sit for a spell and watch the investing shows on Fox News on Saturday mornings and laugh at their witty Wall Street jokes. When I'm ready to learn to text, I'll let my daughter know.

Wait...you can't text on those "Jitterbug" phones, can you? Aw, foot!